more of a reminder to myself. a challenge and hopefully some sort of motivation so that sometime in the future I can look back and say I did it.
I had a great year. It was filled with memories, filled with laughter, filled with disappointments but also lessons and I have learned and grown so much. I have made many new friends and at the same time grown apart from some. Now at the end of the year I look back at the great memories and tell myself time to go.
I’ve been feeling it more and more since the beginning of this year but now more than ever. I WANT and NEED to be the best. I WILL be. It is my calling and it’s how He made me. I am not happy and I am not satisfied until/unless I am working to that end. I’ve struggled with indecisiveness, lack of passion, laziness, but no longer. I know my goal, my objective. All that is left is for me to attain it, to put in the effort and the hard work. Nothing is achieved without sacrifice: sacrificing time, effort, pain, and even friends.
I must sharpen myself mind, spirit, and body. No more of this binge eating and moping about how fat I am. I’m tired of it, of being out of shape, of always telling myself I’ll get started tomorrow. I’ve been pushing it back too long. First step to success is following through with things and also maintaining a healthy, fit body and I plan to do just that.
I love all my friends and all the friends I have known, but right now there are bigger things at hand. There are things I need to do, I need to achieve and I need to sacrifice, given I won’t be able to invest as much as I used to but I know my true friends will be there when I return.
I have to change the way I think, the way I act, the way I live. No more being satisfied with average. No more settling for just ok. I want more than ok. I want the best, perfection and it doesn’t come about with me being lackadaisical. No more sitting back passively, I need to be direct, to be active, stop being so “nice” and reserved. that gets you nowhere. If you just sit back hoping someone will give you a chance you’re mistaken. You have to create your own opportunities and seize them by actively stepping out. Stop being so afraid to fail, stop being so afraid to get hurt, stop being so afraid of people being better than you, stop being so afraid of being judged. I am what I am. Yeah sure there are probably thousands, hundreds of thousands of people who sing way better than me, who dance waaay better than me and are WAY better looking than me. Get over it. You are you so stay true to yourself and work your butt off. Be active, be aggressive. Don’t mistake meekness as a lack of power. Meekness is harnessed power not the lack of it. Passiveness, laziness, all these are just a lack of power it is not humility. Humility is knowing where these talents and gifts come from and using them accordingly not hiding them away or being unsure of them. Be who you were meant to be.
Don’t stop ever. Keep fighting keep going until you reach the top. When you reach the top reach even higher. Don’t be faltered by distractions and hindrances. Forget easily hurts and wounds, take them to heart, learn, and move on. Let’s go.
